What I Learned from our March Book: The Self-Talk Workout

Let me say: I really liked this book!  I think this is an issue that many people (including me!) struggle with, so I appreciated some of the practical (science-based!) strategies offered. Mostly I appreciate the concept: treating speaking positively to yourself as something you have to practice to build up the necessary muscles = working out.

Here are some items that I flagged for my own growth and development:

·       Self talk is really, really important (according to science). Self-criticism worsens depression, anxiety, and stress; self-kindness improves those conditions. Given this data, why aren’t scientifically-supported strategies to improve self-talk more commonly known and discussed? Page 7-8

·       Practicing this doesn’t have to be time-consuming, but you do need to do it at least a few minutes every day for meaningful change (= like working out!) Page 10

·       No reverse psychology here: self-criticism does not motivate you. Self-criticism saps motivation, self-encouragement fuels it. Page 19

·       Breathing with awareness (the first of six science-based strategies in the book) has several key benefits. One, it’s short (helps with daily practice). Another, breathing awareness changes the way your brain responds to stressful moments. Core exercise is explained on page 39.

·       “Spot the success” is probably my favorite of the six strategies. No success is too small. Core exercise is explained on page 63-64.

·       As an enneagram 3, the idea of acknowledging myself instead of waiting for others to praise or recognize me will be a challenge, but good client story on page 66.

·       Good list of variations on the exercise are on pages 82-86.

·       Observation without judgment is hard for me. Core exercise of mindful nonjudgment is explained on page 94-95.

·       I appreciate the idea that nonjudgment of myself will help me be less judgmental of others (something I struggle with). Page 105.

·       “Act before you think” (also referred to as “leapfrogging”) is a strategy for managing the kind of self-criticism that interferes with your goals. This strategy appeals to me and aligns well with one of my key Gallup strengths (Activator).  Core exercise explained on page 122.

·       The concept of “lovingkindness meditation” is new to me and I can see that it would be valuable for me to practice it. That being said, meditation is generally a struggle for me, so it will definitely take some work. Core exercise is explained on page 150-151.

·       I like the idea of a self-compassion break; was impressed by the research that shows its impact on mental health is 10 times greater than that of mediation (page 198). Core exercise is explained on page 199.

·       This message from the author was reassuring: “Practice often fluctuates. Throughout the book I’ve emphasized repetition because the habit of self-criticism is so strong that changing it takes considerable practice” and also “In whatever manner your self-talk unfolds, I hope that you can be gentle and encouraging toward yourself – rather than self-critical – about the amount, quality, consistency, and progression of your self-talk practice”.

If you haven’t yet purchased your copy of The Self-Talk Workout, you can read more about it and get your copy here.

Finally, I also listened to an interview with the author on the Think Act Be podcast.  You can listen to it here.